James Sexton has spent over two decades helping successful, brilliant people untangle their marriages, piece by piece.
In this episode, he shares what they all tend to miss, why doctors in particular are some of the most at-risk, and why high-achievers, especially physicians and surgeons, are uniquely vulnerable to relationship breakdown.
From emotional burnout to misplaced self-soothing, to careers that slowly start replacing connection with achievement, this is the kind of conversation most professionals wish they’d heard ten years earlier.
We also talk about what doctors often miss when they go home from saving lives to just “being a person,” why ambition can erode intimacy, and how Sexton’s most elite clients get stuck in a feedback loop of perfection, pressure, and quiet resentment.
🎧 If you’ve ever asked yourself whether your personal life is keeping up with your professional one, this one’s for you.
00:00 Meet James Sexton
04:20 Why surgeons are built for delayed gratification, and how that helps (and hurts) at home
09:25 What James sees in doctors’ divorces over and over again
14:35 The invisible cost of always being “on call”
18:15 Soothing vs numbing, and the habits that quietly kill connection
24:05 The myth of the selfless marriage
27:40 When the baby shifts everything
31:00 “You can be right, or you can be happy”
35:22 How resentment builds between two good people
40:41 Why ambition without presence is a trap
46:25 What Sexton hopes professionals figure out sooner than he did
💡 Who Should Listen?
This episode is for physicians, surgeons, and anyone in high-demand careers where work often comes first, and relationships second.
It’s especially for people in leadership, medicine, law, and finance, or anyone navigating the tension between achievement and connection.
It’s also for partners of high-performers, and for teams who believe success shouldn’t come at the cost of personal peace.
About James Sexton
James Sexton is a trial lawyer and author based in New York. Known for representing high-net-worth clients, he’s the author of If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together. His interviews, including with Lex Fridman and Soft White Underbelly, have reached millions and sparked global conversations about love, commitment, and modern relationships. In his 20+ year career, Sexton has handled thousands of divorces, and now uses what he’s learned to help others avoid his office entirely.
Connect with James Sexton
📲 Instagram: @nycdivorcelawyer
💼 LinkedIn: James J Sexton
🐦 X: @nycdivorcelaw
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